"...on a jet plane"

       Well, this is it – the final entry for “Panama Calling”.  I fly out of here tomorrow for Panama City, then on to home #1.  Yes, even with all the crazy stuff I’ve written about Boquete, Panama in this here blog, I will consider this my second home. 

Hell, maybe I’ll end up with many more homes in the future. 

I heard someone say “If it weren’t for the loneliness I’d spend my life travelling.” Maybe it was from Lawrence of Arabia – I dunno.

When I first started this blog my intention was to inform its readers about what life in the tropics is like for a gringo.  Of course, I have a hard time taking life too seriously, but there is some truth in almost everything I’ve written here.

 

If you do plan to travel down this way, don’t think it is like a Jimmy Buffett song (though Margaritaville does exist at the bottom of a Cuervo bottle).

You know those photos you see of a hammock tied between two palm trees?  Have you ever noticed that the hammock is always empty?  That’s because models are usually paid by the hour, and it takes two full hours to get out of a hammock – it is just not cost effective.

Then there is the Caribbean breeze blowing the long hair of a gorgeous model as she strolls barefoot down the beach.  What you don’t see is the

oppressive heat and unbelievable humidity.  By the time the model walks fifty yards she must be fitted for a smaller swimming suite, and her hair is hanging like a wet mop.

As soon as the photographer gets the shot he needs, you’d see the model screaming, and waving her arms like an epileptic have a grand mal seizure, bolting madly down the beach trying to out-run the mosquitoes and the vendors chasing her for her blood and money.

The reality of Central America can be wrapped up in a few words; Poverty, inequity, hope, and hopelessness, beauty and suspicion.  No wait – that’s North America.

 

My point is this;

I suggest that everyone thinks about visiting Central America.  Then after thinking about it, read my blog entries, then think about it again.  If you still decide to come to Panama, just remember that this is NOT your country, you pasty-white, arrogant, American! These are beautiful people in a beautiful country – their country.  Your country is The United States, and as fucked up as it may seem, remember WE fucked it up.  Let’s let these folks fuck up their own country, they don’t need our help.

Okay, I’ve gotta pack – So, Adios Amigos, I’m headed home.

                           DP

On this day in History

      Each year on April 15^th millions of dazed Americans wake to the realization that, once again, science has proven that prayer, mass alcohol consumption, and selective amnesia do not prevent their taxes from being due.  All across the nation, the

question “You took care of the taxes, right?” is greeted with a stern, indignant look and answered with a mumbled, “Of course, we can file an extension, whaddaya think I am an idiot?”

       But, did you know that the fifteenth of April is also the day that President Abraham Lincoln died.  He

was actually shot the day before, and may have even survived had his wife Mary Todd Lincoln, racked with grief, not leaned over her beloved Abe’s body and whispered into his ear “You took care of the taxes, right?”

       You know what else happened on April 15^th?  The RMS Titanic sunk in the icy waters of the North Atlantic, claiming 1,500 souls in the process.  The Titanic received no less than six warnings of sea ice before it plowed into an iceberg.  Recent discoveries have determined that radio man Jack Phillips was ‘preoccupied’ for hours trying to figure out how to write off ear muffs and Brandy as a business expense on his 1040A, and “simply ignored” the frantic warnings.

       April 15^th was also the day on which the great Jackie Robinson, walked onto the field as the first African American Major League Baseball player.  This had nothing to do with taxes, except Jackie was now able to pay more.

       The bottle opener was invented on April 15^th, which I’m sure has everything to do with taxes being due. 

      

The first American school for the deaf opened on 4/15, with the motto “No one shall whisper in our ears.”

       On this day in 1923 the first movie with sound premiered at The Rialto theater in New York City, attended by the students and faculty of the first American school for the deaf who clapped enthusiastically at the wrong moments.

       FDR was buried on April 15^th, 1945.

       The first ‘backwards walk across America’ started out on April 15^th (boy, was that prophetic!)

       Oh!  Two related things happened on April 15^th.  In 1923, insulin became available to the public, and in 1955 Ray Kroc opened the first McDonalds hamburger joint. 

       Finally, on April 15^th, 1992 the lovely billionaire, Leona Helmsly was sent to prison for tax evasion, proving once again that prayer, alcohol consumption, and selective amnesia sunk the Titanic.

DP

Psst!  You took care of the taxes, right?