When I was younger I remember
hearing “No matter where you go, there you are, man.” It was usually followed by a poignant pause,
which in turn was followed by stoner laughter, or “Dude!” To me it was just another one of those things
that stoners said. You know, a catch
phrase that states the obvious but sounds profound like “Not all who wander are
lost”, or “Today is the first day of the rest of your life,” or “Help me! I’m on fire!” But years later, during a particularly reflective
time, it dawned on me that instead of the emphasis being on the words “go” and “are”
the true emphasis should be placed on the word “You”. It is not so much about where you are, but more so
who you are with. In other words;
moving or running away to a new locale in order to change your life will not do
the trick if you keep bringing the same old baggage along. No matter where YOU go, there YOU are. It’s like running from your own shadow, or
trying to get some peace in the bathroom from your separation anxiety ridden
dog – it ain’t happenin’.
It is in this context that one must
take a hard look at one’s motivation when it comes to moving away. For me the answer was surprising. Obviously I’ve dreamed about the tropics,
just about everyone does at some point in their lives, but more than anything I
want to know who I am outside of the roles that I have played during my
life. These roles include son, little
brother, husband, father, lover, and dedicated friend. All of these roles are noble and I have
enjoyed being each of them, but instead of me defining these roles it seems like
it has been the other way around – the roles defined me. I want to know what it’s like to just be me,
without the reflection. At least it will
be an adventure into my psyche, which can only be fun, right? Right?
This brings to mind something that
legendary comedian Richard Pryor said in an interview from the 1980’s. When
asked what his motivation, his comedic muse was, he replied, “Help me! I’m on
fire!” My point is this; there is a
difference between moving away and running away. Remember; “No matter where you go, there you
are……Heh heh, Dude.”
When I was younger I remember hearing “No matter where you go, there you are, man.” It was usually followed by a poignant pause, which in turn was followed by stoner laughter, or “Dude!” To me it was just another one of those things that stoners said. You know, a catch phrase that states the obvious but sounds profound like “Not all who wander are lost”, or “Today is the first day of the rest of your life,” or “Help me! I’m on fire!” But years later, during a particularly reflective time, it dawned on me that instead of the emphasis being on the words “go” and “are” the true emphasis should be placed on the word “You”. It is not so much about where you are, but more so who you are with. In other words; moving or running away to a new locale in order to change your life will not do the trick if you keep bringing the same old baggage along. No matter where YOU go, there YOU are. It’s like running from your own shadow, or trying to get some peace in the bathroom from your separation anxiety ridden dog – it ain’t happenin’.
Me in 1978
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