Andy Dufresne & me

       I thought I would post one more entry before I set out for Panama.

 

       

      Yes, I’m still in Portland for another few days, so you can put the party favors away, cancel the stripper, and put the snack tray back in the fridge.  Go ahead and drink the champagne – you have my blessing.

       Like most people here in America, I have spent a good portion of my life moving merchandise in and out of my perimeter.  I began to wonder: If I were able to see my own life as a timeline, one that reflected merchandise, all the stuff I owned over the years, what would it look like? 

 

In the 60’s it would be slot cars, pajamas, 45’s, Stingray bikes, 007 attache cases, scooters, toy guns, and wrinkled, faded copies of Playboy.

The 70’s would reflect my coming of age. We’d see black light posters, monster make-up, cassettes, bell bottoms, skateboards, guitars, amps, and microphones. Polaroids, turntables, strobe lights, giant speakers, concert tickets, bongs, and Frisbees.

The 80’s would reveal the accumulation of all the things that a successful career can provide.  Wedding rings, baby cribs, nice furniture, computers, recording equipment, mortgages, Toyotas, Thunderbirds, trucks, training wheels, CD’s, antiques, sports equipment, and a jukebox.  And, on and on.

But the truth is, only one point on that line is relevant at all, and that would be today.  And today my burden became a lot lighter.

Today I gave away all the clothes that I am NOT bringing South with me.  I donated at least 15 Hawaiian shirts, dozens of T-shirts, a half a dozen coats, 5 hoodies, 4 sweatshirts, and any clothing that weighed more than a pound or so.  I gave away 6 pairs of shoes (most hardly ever

worn), 2 pairs of hiking boots, baseball hats, straw hats, felt hats, unfelt hats, sweatpants, warm-ups (like I ever did that), Dockers, slacks, and jeans.  I donated a slew of neckties ranging from hip, multi-colored jobs to boring business pastels, a piano tie, a tie with fish on it, and one that you Velcro on.  There are enough empty plastic hangers in my closet now to supply a Best Western. 

       Then I got to thinking (ouch!), if “Clothes define the man”, then I just became more undefined – and the thought of it pleased me greatly.

       Because in the end, that is what my moving to Panama is all about.  Well, it’s about re-defining myself, really.

       Of course, before you draw a new sketch, you need a clean piece of

paper, right?  So I decided to give away all my clothes, and go naked.  Full blown Commando!

       But, then I realized that if I got rid of any more clothes, I would begin to become more defined, instead of less defined.  If you know what I mean.

Besides, if I were to walk around neckid, all of the “rules” “the Man” has put in place to squelch us “free souls”, would probably get me thrown into “jail”, where I would quickly end up as somebody’s “girlfriend” and then have to order a “Rita Hayworth” poster in order to cover up the “tunnel” I was digging in my cell “wall”, and end up crawling through “a mile” of the “the most God-awful, stinking waste” ever “released” from a “human rectum”.  And who needs that?  Really.

        

My point is this;

      

      I wouldn’t even know where to get a Rita Hayworth poster.  No…it was something else.  Oh yeah!

       My point is this;

       We’ve all heard people say things like;

“Getting rid of all my things was so freeing!” or

        

“Letting go of the past made me feel brand new”  or

“Getting a Brazilian wax hurt like hell!”

       All of those acts are about getting rid of things, things that define you.  Or rather; things you’ve allowed to define you.

       It is like wiping with a clean sheet of paper.  Wait.  It’s wiping the slate clean with a piece of paper? Is that right?  Hmm…Oh!  Here it is;

     It is not letting shit get in the way of you being free. 

That’s it! That is my point. 

      Don’t let your shit back up the colon of your life. Push through it, crawl if you have too. And once you get to the end of the tunnel and feel

the clean, cool water on your face, grab a fresh, clean piece of paper and wipe that old shit away!  Redefine what it means to be you! Lose 60 lbs. in 3 days!  I guarantee it!

       Okay, maybe it’s not for everybody.  It is hard to let go of things it has taken years to accumulate, I assure you.  But, as I said before, today is the day that matters, and through this process I realize that the stuff I’ve kept for years, even the expensive things, no longer reflect who I am. Maybe they did when I acquired them, but now they reflect something that is no longer needed – the past.

       I'm traveling light these days.  Two suitcases, a guitar, and a dog named Betty; on our way to a new life.

       So we’ll catch you on the flip side, folks.  We off for Panama!

Holy Shit!  What have I done?!

DP