Chairman of the Bored

“Aren’t you going to get bored?” my brother said.

I chuckled, in an all-knowing superior way.  It was the same snide chuckle that Thomas Andrews gave before he proclaimed,

“Trust me, gentlemen.  My design makes The Titanic pretty much unsinkable!”

Of course Andrews’ next recorded words were,

“Shit!” and then later, “Trust me, gentlemen.  I am a woman and/or children!”

I suppose the very fact that I’m sitting here composing a blog entry about being bored says it all.  I mean, how much excrement, er - I mean, excitement can one fellow handle in a 24 hour period?

First, I had to wake up, which takes a few seconds (at least).  Then I walk around making coffee, and giving Betty her pill, and looking at the dishes in the sink.  By then I’ve hit my stride, and I’m “in the zone”.  This eleven minutes is the most productive period of my day. 

Next, the coffee maker completes its brewing cycle (its most productive time of the day as well).  I scan the kitchen for a clean, or fairly clean coffee cup.  By now I am starting to get the three o’clock

drowsiness that tends to set in.  The clock on the wall says it is really about 7:05 AM, but in hamster years it has got to be around 3:00 in the afternoon.

Now, armed with a giant cup of coffee, I turn on my internet radio station, wait to hear the music, then push the button on top of my Bluetooth speaker - and wait for the music to come out of it.  Exhausted, I fall into my desk chair, and check my email.  "Skunked again."

This is where my day gets crazy.  I log in to Facebook, and the fireworks begin.  I usually (though not always) have some little comment or notification waiting for me.  Usually, it is a comment on a friend’s post from somebody I don’t know and probably never will. 

At this point I scroll through the posts of my friends, and friends of friends, and random posts from some political group that I could care less about.  I make witty comments on anything that looks like it might get me a response back.

 I figured it out once – if I want to get one or two responses back – I have to make 438 comments, post 16 pictures, and one political message from some group I could care less about.  That is way too much work, so I make a couple of cynical comments and take what I can get.

By this time, it is 7:30…in the morning, and I’m ready to refill my coffee.  It is also the end of my scheduled activities for the day. 

Now, I’m not saying that I spend the rest of the day reading on the porch, or binge watching T.V. series that I have no interest in (other than they produce a flickering image I can stare at).  No, I walk Betty (the wonder dog) every day…most, every day.  This occurs after our first nap.  A man has to regenerate!  Then, I spend the rest of the day watching Netflix.

Oh, I know some of you may be thinking,

“Wow, this guy is living the dream!”

But I assure you, it is not all beautiful weather, loafing, and tequila.

Ahh, who am I kidding?  Of course it is.

But, I still get bored sometimes.  So, my brother was right. 

“Oh, Look! Titanic is on Netflix!  That’ll kill three hours”.  Yawn.

DP